You can't lifehack your way through this

I admit to a small (former) fascination with life hacks.  Maybe there is some little trick that, if I just do that one little thing, my life smooths out and becomes the picture I have in my head.  At the very least, it is pleasing to get more done in the same amount of time, or to have a little bit of technology relieve me of some burden.  My life-plan depends on getting things done efficiently - or at the very least staying out of my own way.  Life hacks seem like a good way of avoiding unnecessary effort, drama, and inefficiency.  But I'm coming to the conclusion that they are just an avoidance behavior.

At first I mis-identified the problem as definition drift, almost to the point of meaningless-ness.  Oh, that problem exists, right enough.  The term life hack originally meant using technology in some clever new way to solve a problem.  Then it came to mean using anything to save time or solve a problem.  Now it seems to mean just any little trick at all; these used to be known as good ideas.  I quote here from Urban Dictionary:

A: "Did you know that if you take a shampoo bottle, pour some shampoo on your hand, and mush it into your head when you're in the shower, your hair will smell better? Lol, my favorite life hack!"
B: "Shut up." 

Then I considered the possibility that there was a shaming quality to the suggestions.  Check these google results for "life hack" out.

"20 life hacks to solve problems you never thought about"  Isn't that just another way of saying "a solution without a problem"?

"40 things you've been doing wrong all your life" Isn't that just another way of saying "you're too stupid to have figured out the things I've known all along"?

I don't need to feel worse, or to waste my time solving non-problems, true.  But there's more to my aggravation than pique at a tone of voice or imprecise use of the language.  We've got ourselves a bigger problem.  Life hacks are purely external. Hang the clothes this way rather than that.  Store the cups in the cupboards that way rather than this.  OK, fine.   But here are the goals I set for myself when my life first took this turn into single living: (copying and pasting from my 400-page annual plan.  We'll talk about THAT another day!!)

Replace shame with power.  Invent your world.  Surround yourself with color, sounds, and work that nourish you.  I want to be able to say, truthfully,

·         I am safe

·         I am grounded

·         I am balanced

·         I am worthy

·         I am healthy

·         I surround myself with beauty

·         I am grace-full with my friends and family

·         I make a difference

·         I am thriving.

     Ummm.... wow.  Those are some important tasks, Miss Missy, and that's not even all of them. And they involve considerable internal work, in addition to the external.    Prior to the external, most likely.  You can't life hack your way through this stuff.  Just as an example.... until I can consider the possibility that I am worthy of being healthy, it probably doesn't matter if I pack my gym bag the night before or sleep in my gym clothes rather than pajamas.  I won't go to the gym.  I'll find something else to do; I just know it.  The problem with life hacks is that they have us focused on the trivial.  That's what we do when the essential scares us, which is pretty much the definition of avoidance behavior.

I     Here's the real problem.  I get it that feelings of being worthy, and grounded, and balanced require the long game.  In the meantime, though, my cardiovascular health-requirements are the same as anyone else's.  I need to exercise, even while feeling unworthy.  I need to act as though I am balanced, even though I am spectacularly not - otherwise I will never set appropriate boundaries.  Where are the life hacks for that??  Once again, it seems that I will have to figure this thing out myself.

      But first, I am going to rearrange the cups in the cupboard. Couldn't hurt.  Might help.